Paradox Space
:For the reality in which Homestuck takes place, see paradox space. , often stylized as PxS, is a sister project to MS Paint Adventures that was launched on April 13, 2014, to celebrate Homestuck s fifth anniversary. The site will feature many comics that detail unseen events in paradox space and hypothetical "what if?" scenarios. The canonicity of Paradox Space comics has been addressed by Hussie as follows: :For any given story, it is either "Definitely Not Canon" or "Possibly Canon". But no story should ever be regarded as "Definitely Canon", unless Homestuck itself confirms those events retroactively in some manner. The launch of Paradox Space boasted six pages in one day, and the subsequent standard schedule has been set as one page per weekday. As of occasional "2X UPDATE COMBO WEEKS" will occasionally occur, wherein there will be two pages every weekday, with the two pages going up at different times. As of 5/16/2014, Paradox Space uses a to give credit to the artists and writers, as well as to categorize story pages and make yet more side jokes that could not be covered with alt text. Stories #" " (6 pages, written by Andrew Hussie, art by Zack Morrison) John wakes up on the morning of his thirteenth birthday, goes about his daily morning routine, and accidentally steps in a cake his dad had just left outside the door of the bathroom. John blows out the candles, and it is reminiscent of Breath powers. Paradox Space title drop is made. #" " (3 pages, story and art by Jonathan Griffiths, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Gamzee throws a , encouraging the severed heads of his dead friends to impress him, with gold star stickers (AKA "glitter biscuits" and "pointy-ass glam badges") as motivation. Tavros wins, obviously, thanks to his impressive personal talents. #" " (2 pages, story and art by KC Green) John is celebrating his birthday at a zoo, and he approaches Dave with concerns about monkey-on-monkey violence. Dave berates him for thinking of the most non-random "random thing" possible. It then turns out that John was telling the truth. #" " (7 pages, story and art by Zack Morrison, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) John captchalogues two fanciful harlequins, sending glass shards flying at his birthday present. Unlike in the , John then captchalogues a third harlequin, sending the PDA flying and knocking off the harlequin's other arm. As a result, whenever Jack Noir tries to put on the Black Queen's Ring, both of his arms disappear and the ring falls off immediately afterwards. Realizing that they're in a doomed timeline, the kids decide to go watch a movie. #" " (2 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin, art by Matt Cummings, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Becquerel teleports around the world and fetches a number of balls and other sports equipment, which he brings back to Jade's house. After completing his sports pile, Bec goes upstairs and falls asleep next to Jade; oblivious to his activities, she calls him lazy. #" " (6 pages, story by Benito Cereno, art by Kristen Kemper, lettering by J.N. Wiedle.) Vriska and Eridan engage in a game of Flarp aboard their respective vessels. To board Eridan's ship, Vriska rolls a very lucky number 20 on her dice roll. Eridan is not as fortunate and rolls a 1 in return, summoning a "critical whale." The whale starts putting Eridan down, which distracts him. Vriska uses this opportunity to make a quick move, which Eridan seems to think may have been a cheating one. She then demands he hand over his slaves, which are revealed to be real live lowbloods playing the role of slaves on Eridan's ship. Vriska apparently plans to feed them to her lusus. Eridan misinterprets Vriska's powergaming attitude as caliginous flirting, and offers to play along in exchange for a hatesnog, Vriska is shocked, disgusted and infuriated, attacking Eridan with the Fluorite Octet and destroying his ship, leaving him floating on a chunk piece of the hull while the whale continues to chastize him. #" " (9 pages, story and art by David McGuire, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) At the Teen Con Air Finals, a contest to see which teens can best reenact the ending of Con Air, John is excited to be a competitor. Karkat is not happy to be there, complaining about having to watch the same "godawful" scene so many times, but Roxy and Terezi mock his disdain. After completing her act, Vriska arrives backstage and shoves John into Karkat, claiming that no one will be able to beat her. John scoffs at her bragging, saying that he and Roxy will win because they have true love of the movie. Roxy admits she's never seen it, then reassures him by saying she'll wing it. The pair go on, and Terezi encourages them by saying " " As John recites all of his character's lines verbatim without breaking character, Roxy becomes gradually more embarrassed and self conscious about her improvisation attempts. Before this progression comes to a head, John abruptly stands up, realizing he missed a line, and cries while embracing Roxy. The two leave the stage and he cheerily asks Karkat and Terezi how they did, and in response the two exchange offput glances before Karkat loudly informs John that " " Roxy is hopeful that this means she and John will win best comedy performance, but Terezi dashes their hopes by pointing out that nobody was laughing. Wayward Vagabond is revealed to be the judge, and he awards the grand prize of the house cup and an autographed soundtrack CD to the "evil team": Vriska, Caliborn, Lil Cal, and Lil Seb, for having the most technically accurate portrayal. WV then abruptly takes back the prize and awards the "stupid team" (John, Roxy, and Casey) an additional six billion points for their pure-hearted love of Con Air, making them the new winners of the grand prize. #" " (4 pages, story by Matt Boyd and art by Ian McConville) Two Dersites are trying to work on an article for "The Enquiring Carapacian", but nothing had happened that day. They suggest a number of weak stories, and begin to panic as they've clearly run out of ideas. Just as they've given up, a fiery beam appears in the sky above and destroys Derse's moon. Once they realize what has happened, the two Dersite journalists begin to celebrate because they finally have a news story to write about. #" " (2 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin, art by Matt Cummings) A sequel to "A Fun Day for Bec." God Cat teleports around the world, hunting and killing a number of animals. Jane gets home from school to find GCat resting ontop of a lump on her bed, which she discovers is a pile of the animals GCat killed (as well as a potted cactus, a snowman and some potatoes). #" " (8 pages, story by Andrew Hussie, art by Hanni Brosh, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Dad and John are on a shopping trip, and John has become extremely bored after spending five hours at the . John asks if he can borrow Dad's PDA, claiming that he wants to look up nose hair trimmer prices online, and when he gets it he boots up Pesterchum and asks Dave to help him. Dave calls John's situation a " " and expresses jealousy of taking trips to the Dadly Depot, as his Bro (who is clearly not his father) only takes him to brajstop. Dave goes on to describe the typical brajstop store to John, which includes many Bro-related items. Dave then remarks that Bro always left him in the ball pit room - except there weren't any balls in there. Dave elaborates that Bro left him in a concrete pit in the floor, where Dave would lie alone with his thoughts, making " ". He claims it builds character, in theory, and suggests John's Dad might be trying to do a similar thing by bringing John to the Dadly Depot. After Dave excuses himself from the conversation by stating that the beats won't drop themselves, John Runs up to Dad and tells him that the nose hair trimmer is a steal. As Dad is loading his NOSE WIZARD into the cart John, asks if he could have one too, and Dad grabs him the nose wiz jr! #" " (7 pages, story by Phil Gibson, art by Evan Dahm) Parcel Mistress is collecting a package on LOWAS. The salamander asks for a gear in exchange for it, so she makes her way to LOHAC. Once she finds what she is looking for, she helps to roll it off the tail of a crocodile. She inquires as to whether she can take the gear, and the crocodiles first demand an ice cube (containing a flower within) from LOFAF for the injured one's tail. Once on LOFAF, she sees a local iguana try to obtain one of said ice cubes and fail, falling over. She asks if she can take one of the ice cubes, but the iguana request a jar of sand from LOLAR from her. She arrives on the planet, asking some nearby turtles for a jar of sand, but they appear to be preoccupied with worry, fear, or confusion. They are next seen shaking martinis on the engraved tablet ordering PM to fetch the gear, while she runs off in the background with a jar of sand. She brings this sand to LOFAF to ease the slippery ice slope for the iguana, brings the ice to LOHAC for the crocodile's tail, and brings the gear to LOWAS, where the salamander has used it as a planter. PM then delivers the box to the White Queen, who opens it and hands it to PM, the gift being a brand new golden mail bag with a thank you note attached to it. #" " (1 page, story and art by KC Green) Sweet Bro is swimming in the ocean, engage in all its deep, mind-rending, third-eye-opening wonders. After he has had his fill of taking in the deepest secrets of the universe, he opens a clam on the ocean floor, intending to claim its pearl for himself. It opens up to reveal Hella Jeff waiting inside, who reveals he robbed the clam first. What he did with the pearl is currently unknown. We may never know. #" " (3 pages, story by Phil Gibson and art by Adrienne Garcia) Nepeta is showing Equius how to hunt on LOLCAT. She jumps playfully into the air at an imp before kicking it very hard in the face. The imps are all visibly frightened, as they should be. Nepeta then calls back telling Equius it's his turn. He starts charging an underling who looks very frightened. As it is launched into the distance and blown up by a punch from Equius, Nepeta suggests keeping the prey near next time. #" " (1 page, story and art by KC Green) Sweet Bro is skateboarding and puts one foot off the board to push off and give himself more speed. As he does so, his leg gets caught in one of the wheels; alarmed, he looks behind him and sees that his leg has been stretched out to ludicrous lengths. He then slowly turns his head back around. #" " (1 page, story and art by David McGuire, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Jane attempts to find out who has eaten her sandwich and begins a detailed investigation, examining the plate with a magnifying glass, collecting crumbs as evidence, surrounding the "crime scene" with police tape and interrogating GCat. Dirk then walks over and admits that he felt guiltier about eating Jane's sandwich before she started playing detective. #" " (8 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin and Kory Bing, pencils by Kory Bing, colors by Matt Cummings, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A few consorts from each planet sit in a circle on the balcony of Rose's house on LOLAR, tired and bored. A turtle and crocodile mention Rose and Dave respectively, and their attention is grabbed when another turtles runs into the scene, tripping and dropping the book it was carrying, which appears to be a guide for throwing tea parties. Intrigued, they all set to work: a crocodile lays out the blanket, a salamander carries in various teapots and tea products (including a teapot resembling those from LOLCAT), another crocodile starts a fire, and a turtle collects some water. They lay out the tea set according to a diagram, including Void coasters, a grists coaster, and a teapot with all the aspect symbols on it. Once they finish setting up a group of underlings appear. The consorts are understandably afraid, but the underlings seem taken aback by this. One of the iguanas asks if they are going to die, and the lich among the group assures them this is not the case. Instead, they immediately grab some cups, sit down, and join the tea party. #" " (1 page, story by Phil Gibson, art by J.N. Wiedle) Two Crocodiles are discussing the viability of a company on the LOHAC Stock Exchange, but are cut off by the bell signifying the market is open for trading. Just as suddenly as it opens, it closes again; when the dust settles from all the frantic buying and selling, we see one of them has lost their shirt. They then muse about how fortunate it is that they didn't end up like Dave, who is crying about being boiled in a cauldron with onions, carrots and peppers. #" " (2 pages, story by Zack Morrison, pencils by EK Weaver, colors by Adrienne Garcia) The Sufferer answers questions from members of an assembled crowd while the Disciple and Ψiionic cheer him on. He explains that one cannot jokingly "do a genocide" and that the Condesce forcing her subjects to prostrate themselves before her image does not make her a good leader. Another member of the audience - an indigo-blooded troll wearing a beaglepuss - asks how susceptible the Sufferer's faction is to infiltration, poorly concealing his own status as an imperial spy. Signless is bombarded with questions about his sign and blood color, prompting the Ψiioniic to flip out and attack the crowd with his psionic powers. While the Disciple calms him down, the Sufferer proposes a five minute for snacks, claiming that his mother made cookies. The Ψiioniic is put into time out and the Disciple comforts the Signless. #" " (2 pages, story and art by KC Green) Sweet Bro is playing with a toy pony when Hella Jeff notices him and asks if he likes ponies. Increasingly excited, Hella Jeff exclaims that he also likes ponies and quickly dons a pantomime horse costume, noting that he has needed a second person to be the "ass" for a long time, and asks his "pony bro" Sweet Bro to get inside. Sweet Bro sighs and says that the correct term for "pony bros" is bronies; Hella Jeff briefly pauses before furiously demanding that Sweet Bro "GET THE FUCK IN THIS ASS." # " " (1 page, written by Rachel Rocklin, art by Allison Shabet, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) The comic starts off with Rose playing as Jaspers's psychologist, back when she was a little kid. Jaspers's head becomes layered above the speech bubbles, implying that he is not paying attention/has no idea what Rose is saying. This is re-enforced by the next panel, where the text turns into meaningless shapes and symbols. Nonetheless, Jaspers is very happy just to be with Rose, and so the comic ends. # " " (4 pages, story and art by P.Gibson, colors by Mallory Dyer, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Equius begins trolling Sollux, asking for help. Sollux refuses, but Equius convinces Sollux to help him by stating that the refusal would force him to rely on Karkat. Sollux asks Equius what exactly he broke, but it turns out that he has broken nothing, and attempting to break anything makes the situation worse. The viewport shows him tangled up in various cords and wires. Sollux makes it clear that he cannot program anything to help him out of physical problems. Equius keeps demanding help, so Sollux hacks into the robots around Equius, and sets them to kill mode. Equius fights them off, losing the wires, some teeth, and one of his horns in the process. John's arm is seen in the robo-crowd, likely due to it's travel through canonspace. Equius thanks Sollux for his help, and has his Lusus provide a glass of milk. The glass shatters in Equius's hand and he hisses. # " " (1 page, story and art by P.Gibson, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) welcomes the reader to his house, stating he would offer candy if the treats were not preoccupied. He points out that the Handmaid, is organizing the cache to keep the treats in constant supply. He asks if she is on schedule, She gets angry, as she is pretty much forced to work there, and isn't getting much thanks. She draws a penis on his "face" and he states that fortunately, he does not make permanent marker available to her. She is tied to a chair, probably as punishment. Alt text Many Paradox Space pages feature alt text captions, which can be viewed by hovering one's cursor over the image on a desktop computer. Anyone on the PXS team can add, alter, or remove alt text; a result of this alt text may not be added to a page until several stories later, causing it to be "missed" unless old pages are re-read. As alt text can be retroactive, in some cases the alt text for a particular page may be a result of the fandom's comments or reactions to the page. * : Welcome to Paradox Space. *"Headed for Stardom" ** : by which he does not mean bowling. because THAT, that would be gross ** : March Hare-idan ** : cosplayers: please don't put stickers on your eyes. not even for "authenticity" * : john's personal record is just a post-it note on dave's desk that says "monkeys" *"Prototyped" ** : if you removed homestuck from the internet and replaced it with just that last panel, no one would ever realize it ** : you thought trolls were insectoid but they're actually related to pacmans * : GOOD DOG. BEST FRIEND. *"Critical Miss" ** : we can say "f8ck" but not that other word shhh ** : critical whale <3< eridan OTP * : This week, Paradox Space will update with two pages per day (these will only appear on "2X Update Combo Weeks") *"Con Faire" ** : obviously this comic is 100% canon in every way ** :only the purest and truest nic cage fans can shed tears like this ** : yes. you. you were laughing ***Allegedly changed a few hours after being added, the original alt text was apparently: except you. you were laughing ** : "The Evil Team" is just a cute lil nickname. Don't overthink this. ** : Also, Vriska, you tried to mind-control the judge, so, you know... not cool. *"Deadline Day" ** : If whatever news source you use doesn't bill itself as a sleazy rag, you're being lied to ***Temporarily removed with no replacement. ** : ***I dunno, I think "Hurp bloop bluh" goes unrecognized too often these days. ***I actually kinda want to know what happened with the cake kerfuffle. ** : I suppose you could call this... *sunglasses* ...breaking news? ** : Hooray! A tragedy! * : oh hey i brought you something *"Quality Time" ** : dibs on "bogus dad crisis" as the name of my new band ** : you tried to click that, didn't you ** : dave has a black belt in high fives ** : you pick up those beats right now young man ** : everyone needs a good nose trimmer * : <>< BEAUITFIOL *"Hunting Lesson" ** : ( =①ω①=) ** : (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾) ** : (=ＴェＴ=) * : he turts around * : but who ate the sandwich *"Party Crashers" ** : EXCITEMENT ** : a passive aggressive present to Rose from her mother, I'm sure ** : honey that's salt water you're going to desalinate that first right ** : not pictured: the years crumplehat spent in culinary school learning the art of pastry ** : tea, earl gray, hot *"Pones" ** : tune in tomorrow for the eXCITING conCLUTION ** : we made u read this fore two days u fat nasty trash * : rude * : i didnt spend four years in junior detective school to be called 'mr honeytongue' Tags Many of the on the comic pages identify the writer and artist of the story. Others are helpful by identifying characters present on the given page. However, some of these tags, the "unsaturated" ones, are merely additional notes and (most often) jokes. This section serves as a reference and archive for those tags. * : #welcome to paradox space * : #every fuckin glitter biscuit * : #kc green * : #sports *"Critical Miss" ** : #critical wh8le ** : #those eyebrows * : #cake kerfuffle #malodorous monarchs #bloop bluh blurp #are those words * : #dead animal pile #barkley * : #high fives Multi-page tags * : #derse * : #a fun day Trivia *404 and 500 errors on the site are accompanied by one of a selection of images featuring Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff and one of Sollux fixing a computer for Equius. The 404 and 500 error page art was John's Birthday *According to the , this comic takes place in the same zoo previously seen in KC Green's Gunshow and Horribleville. *"Bears with guns" and "seals with grenades" are callbacks to the aforementioned comics. *The kid with the toque and glasses appears to be a young KC Green. Prototyped *The glass shards' captchalogue codes on page 1 read (being posted just after 4/20) and *This story marks the first time that Jack Noir has on-screen dialogue, rather than his speech being described entirely through narration. *This story was originally going to be titled Armless, but it was decided that that made the conclusion too obvious. Con Faire *The captain at the beginning, judging by the background color of their text box, as well as their status as captain, is possibly the Helmsman. *The alt text might possibly be a jab at fans on the forums who produced a massive critical backlash at John's Birthday, the first non-canon comic. *The curtains and general stage setup resemble both Caliborn's and the *Terezi keeps changing the location of her blindfold: she wore it normally, as a bandana, as a headband, as a scarf, as a belt/dragon cape tail, and as a different style of scarf. *The alt text on was added retroactively in response to some forum comments. Summer Sea Fun *This comic may be a reference to this exchange between Damara and Meenah: : : : Ace Sleuth Jane *This comic is missing character tags for Jane and GCAT. *GCAT is referred to as a female here, despite being referred to as male in Homestuck. (This may be a reference to an ongoing gag of calling non-speaking pets by a different gender each time they are shown, or that referring to GCAT as male would of compromised the phrase used by Jane "Just the Facts Ma'am", the classically misquoted line by Detective Joe Friday of Dragnet fame.) Party Crashers *The teapot on page four is similar to the ones found on LOLCAT. *The "tea, earl gray, hot" is a reference to Capain Picard's signature drink order. Killswitch Engage *The first page of this comic was orignially uploaded without typing quirks (for ease of reading), but they were added in the next day after a large response from the fanbase. *John's arm appears on the third page. See also *List of Paradox Space characters Category:Homestuck